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NotJustAHatStand

People say life is the thing, but I prefer reading*
 

WHAT?!

On my way out of work this evening I nipped to the ladies, and when I came out, there were 3 women I know waiting for the lift (which is right next to the toilets), who stopped talking as soon as they saw me. I reckon they'd been gaily bitching about someone, until I rudely interrupted them, but you know what it's like when that happens - you immediately wonder if it was you they were bitching about... The thing is, they made no attempt to disguise it, and I felt like I was back in 2nd year of high school. I then had to get into the tiny lift with them for the interminable journey down to the ground floor. If ever there was a reason to take the stairs, that was it! Why oh why didn't I take the stairs...

To make matters worse, when I got to the bus stop, there was a very peculiar little Spanish lady there (amongst a crowd of other Spanish people), who insisted upon staring right at me, for most of the time I was waiting for the bus. She also managed to insinuate herself right up close to me - closer than I was comfortable with, frankly! So by the time I got home tonight, I was a little paranoid; people at work are talking about me and possibly listening to me pee, and I walked about town either a) with my fly undone, b) with a booger protuding from my nose, c) with spinach in my teeth or d) unintentionally talking out loud to myself, as I occasionally catch myself doing, though not in public. Not yet anyway.
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*Logan Pearsall Smith



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