I heart the Metro
'Fun run piddle pervert bagged by big banana'
That is absolute genius! I had to read it twice before the meaning was fully absorbed by my brain.
The story was about a man who was lurking in bushes during the Great North Run in Tyneside, filming unsuspecting female runners having a wee. After about 15 minutes of filming the man was seen by one of these women, who alerted her husband. The husband gave chase to the man, accompanied by a male runner dressed as a giant banana. They caught the guy and he was arrested and charged with voyeurism.
You couldn't make this stuff up.