There are some things that we just don't do, one of those is leaving the door open while we go to the toilet. Having a wee is one thing, but the other thing is done behind closed doors, and we prefer it that way. Having said that, we're not above a bit of toilet humour. A wee trump is good for a laugh and we quite openly break wind in front of each other, and have a giggle about it. Frankly, if we were one of those couples that 'take it to the toilet' then we'd hardly see each other. But bear in mind this is only when we're on our own, not in any other company (apart from maybe my mum).
So the other day in Tesco, when the Boy sidled past me with a shifty look on his face I knew he had some devious plan - he has previous for this kind of thing so I should've seen it coming but alas for me my guard was down. We were standing near the end of an aisle in the home section, which was empty but for us and a well-to-do couple talking to a Tesco employee about buying a TV.
As he reached the end of the aisle he paused and, with absolutely perfect timing, released a loud, prolonged fart then disappeared round the corner, leaving me horrified and unsure how to salvage any dignity from the situation.
In the end, I loitered for a few seconds with my head down, trying to make it seem as though I was above suspicion (my thinking was that if it had been me who farted, I wouldn't be hanging about). As soon as an appropriate amount of time had passed, I scuttled round the corner without looking at anyone, and found the Boy helpless with laughter in the next aisle. As soon as I saw him I dissolved into giggles as well (which impeded the accuracy of my punch unfortunately) and we both scarpered.
This is why I can't imagine being with anyone else.