In which the use of parentheses becomes ridiculous
Although I'm excited about moving house I'm feeling a little jaded today. I'm not particularly enjoying my job and I feel a bit like a hamster in one of those plastic exercise wheels - running to keep up but not really getting anywhere.
I want a career that I enjoy (well, just a career would be nice), something that I can get enthusiastic about, and encourage me to get out of bed in the morning without feeling like pulling a sickie every day. I have a rough idea of what I'd like to do, but it's doing it that's the problem. Putting the whole aspiring-writer thing aside, I've always liked the thought of being a librarian or owning a book shop (unfortunately librarians are highly qualified people, not just lucky bibliophiles who know their alphabet really well, as I used to think) but either of these things involve a hefty financial commitment in order to get started.
As much as I'd love to go back to Uni and study Librarianship or English Lit (something that I am interested in instead of the meaningless mickey-mouse subject I did study) I couldn't afford the fees or the money I'd need to keep on top of my mortgage for my pretty new house. I don't think I qualify for any financial support. And even if I could afford it - what it if turned out I wasn't any good at that either? And I'm sure librarian jobs aren't exactly plentiful.
Of course, these are all excuses (apart from the money thing, that really is a problem) - if my dad were here he'd tell me to get my head out of my arse (although maybe not in those words exactly) and go for it.
I want a career that I enjoy (well, just a career would be nice), something that I can get enthusiastic about, and encourage me to get out of bed in the morning without feeling like pulling a sickie every day. I have a rough idea of what I'd like to do, but it's doing it that's the problem. Putting the whole aspiring-writer thing aside, I've always liked the thought of being a librarian or owning a book shop (unfortunately librarians are highly qualified people, not just lucky bibliophiles who know their alphabet really well, as I used to think) but either of these things involve a hefty financial commitment in order to get started.
As much as I'd love to go back to Uni and study Librarianship or English Lit (something that I am interested in instead of the meaningless mickey-mouse subject I did study) I couldn't afford the fees or the money I'd need to keep on top of my mortgage for my pretty new house. I don't think I qualify for any financial support. And even if I could afford it - what it if turned out I wasn't any good at that either? And I'm sure librarian jobs aren't exactly plentiful.
Of course, these are all excuses (apart from the money thing, that really is a problem) - if my dad were here he'd tell me to get my head out of my arse (although maybe not in those words exactly) and go for it.
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on Wednesday, June 28, 2006 at 1:57 pm.
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