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People say life is the thing, but I prefer reading*

Stupid is as stupid does...

I tried to dye my hair last night. Not to drastically change the colour, just to give it a bit of a lift and cover up the odd grey hairs that are beginning to sprout.

According to the instructions, I applied the stuff from the bottle marked 'A', and left it for the required 25 minutes. I thought it was a bit odd that the dye didn't look like it did in the advert (piled effortlessly on top of the lady's head, held in place by it's own gloopiness), and that it didn't lather when I came to rinse it, but I thought 'never mind, how often does something look exactly like it does in the advert?'. Warning bells should have been ringing by now but my warning bells seemed to be malfunctioning last night, and I blithely carried on.

Once I'd rinsed it through I allowed myself to look in the mirror. And what colour was my hair? Exactly the same as before. This didn't worry me, as the dye was called 'Cocoa', and therefore not dramatically different from my natural colour, plus my hair was wet so it was hard to tell. 'Still,' I thought, 'surely I should see a little bit of a difference...'

Then I applied the after-dye conditioner. I thought it was silly of them to label it 'C' when I'd only just used 'A', so I checked the instructions, and there was no mention of a 'B'. My skewed logic kicked in again and I convinced myself it was a typo or they were just stupid. I left the conditioner on for the recommended 5 minutes, then rinsed again. By now my hair felt wonderfully soft and I was sure it was going to look fab when I dried it - shiny and bouncy like Davina's (Nutrisse means Nourish!). It did look shiny, but the colour? No change. Diddly squat. I felt rather cheated - I had been promised Cocoa, and I wanted Cocoa coloured shiny hair, dammit!

So I went to get the leaflet from the box and when I picked it up, was surprised at how heavy it was. How could it be so heavy when all there was inside it was empty bottles and those enormous gloves they provide (presumably so that giants don't get hair dye under their fingernails when colouring their hair)...

And then the penny finally, FINALLY dropped.

There was a full bottle in that box, containing the actual HAIR DYE. The bottle marked 'B' funnily enough.

I had missed the ENTIRE FIRST PAGE of the instructions, which explained how to mix the dye with the developer. All I had applied to my hair was the developer, and left what is presumably pure chemicals on my poor hair, formerly my crowning glory, for 25 whole minutes. At this realisation I freaked out and ran, in my knickers, to the living room where Fiance was watching TV, shouting 'Oh my god what have I done?!'. Fiance got a bit of a shock as well, poor lamb, but he managed to keep his head, and he gave me a slap to bring me to my senses (ok he didn't really, but I think he wanted to).

I didn't sleep last night because I was sure I was going to wake up bald on a pillow covered in chemically damaged hair. I didn't, thank GOD, but I'm now waiting to see if it's going to turn green.

First resolution of 2007? Read instructions carefully. TWICE.

Happy New Year dear readers.


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At 3.1.07, Blogger Stacey said...

Oh no! Well, assuming your hair doesn't turn green or fall out, it's a good story nonetheless. ;) Happy New Year, Teeny!    

At 3.1.07, Blogger Drama Queen said...

Reminds me of a story. . .My auntie's mum was in her neighbours bathroom at Christmas, she picked up what she thought was hairspray and was merrily spraying it around. Returning back to the table for everyone to ask what the smell was, it smelt like hair burning. . .yes she sprayed a hair removing spray straight on to her head. She washed it out but not before some of it had removed clumps of hair by the root. . .funny because it never works on my legs when I want it to!

Happy NY you.    

At 3.1.07, Blogger Teeny said...

Thanks both!

So far so good - my barnet looks none the worse for it's chemical bath.    

At 3.1.07, Blogger Cat said...

My hair's been various colours since the age of 16, but a few years back I decided to dye it blue-black, which I thought would be quite "dramatic" with my sharp bob. Instead, it made me look like a ghoul, quite, quite hideous. I panicked and bleached it the following day. Then dyed it brown. To say I resembled Worzel Gummage is being kind.    

At 4.1.07, Blogger Teeny said...

I'm sure it wasn't as bad as Worzel Gummage! However, makes my misadventure sound quite tame, so ta!

I'm always tempted by the blue-black dye, the girl on the box looks so gorgeous and mysterious... But so far I've always managed to mentally picture my chalk-white complexion with blue-black hair and backed sloowly away from the dye.    

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*Logan Pearsall Smith

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