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People say life is the thing, but I prefer reading*


Thanks for all your comments on my last post. We only got back earlier this evening (so I'm still to catch up on all your blogs) but I had a lovely holiday, and a fab birthday on Tuesday. To celebrate my being one step closer to thirty* we went to the Three Chimneys for lunch, which was A.M.A.Z.I.N.G.

*I didn't think turning 27 was necessarily something to celebrate but I wasn't given a choice in the matter.

To start I had breast of wood pigeon with crispy tattie scones, and a port and red lentil gravy. Then for my main course I had grilled loin of lamb with spring vegetables and a rosemary jus. I enjoyed my first two courses so much I had to have dessert too, so I had the Three Chimneys Famous Hot Marmalade Pudding with Drambuie Custard. It was all absolutely delicious, and I would thoroughly recommend the Three Chimneys if you're ever on Skye. It's not cheap, but the food is out of this world, the service is impeccable, and the location is unbelievable.


I regret eating that starter.

We got home about 8.15 this evening, intending to get straight into our jammies, and eat pizza in front of the TV. The cats were pleased(ish) to see us - Coco sulked and wouldn't cuddle me until I gave her a KitBit - and the house was fine. We unpacked the car, and I went into the living room to make sure everything was ok. I noticed that our fireguard had been moved. I then saw something white in the fireplace. I went to have a closer look and saw a pile of soot, debris and feathers sitting on the coals of the fire, and more of the same all over the fireplace, and the floor just in front. I then looked a bit further up, to the beginning of the chimney, and saw a pair of feet.

A pair of birdy-looking feet. Attached to something that looked distinctly bird-like.

I nearly crapped my pants of course, and I shouted for the Boy to come and have a look. He agreed that it looked a bit birdy, but was of the opinion that it was dead (he was unable to explain how on earth a dead bird would manage to perch in our chimney however). He went for something with which to poke the bird, for that is what it was. Now I should be precise here, it wasn't just a bird, it was a pigeon.


The Boy poked the pigeon with the end of a broom. It was most definitely NOT dead. The poor thing got a terrible fright - it squawked and flapped its wings so hard trying to escape from the nasty poking man that it dislodged yet more of the crap that was in our chimney, and did another enormous shit on our lovely living flame gas fire.

The Boy agreed that the bird was not dead and suggested, most unhelpfully, that we turn the fire on. It was at this moment, when he suggested roast wood pigeon instead of pizza for dinner, that I realised this was karma. I ate one of this bird's cousins. Possibly even more than one (I don't know how much meat you get on a pigeon, but I'm guessing not much).

I was in a bit of a state. I didn't know what to do - I kept saying to the Boy 'but what do we DO?', while he stood with his hands in his pockets looking at the fireplace, much like a plumber who looks at your boiler whilst trying to figure out how to break the bad news. In the end, we did what we always do - we phoned our mums ('But what do we DO?!').

However, neither of them were any help, so I phoned the SSPCA. We were lucky that the only animal inspector in Edinburgh and the Lothians was able to pop in on her way to another job - she dove straight in without a moment's hesitation, and after much flapping and flying of sooty feathers, the inspector pulled Priscilla the Pigeon from our chimney. She looked a bit bedraggled and indignant, and her tail feathers were in a sorry state, but she was otherwise ok (hurrah!). The SSPCA lady said she'd take Priscilla into the wildlife centre for a few days, to let her recover from her ordeal, and make sure her missing tail feathers would grow back ok, and off she went.

I took some pictures before I cleaned away all the mess the damned pigeon made, you can look at them here. It's nearly midnight and only now am I starting to calm down and relax after a long journey home from Skye, and an unexpected welcome from a wild creature in my living room. I think I need another glass of wine.

I'll put some of my holiday pictures up in the next couple of days.

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At 27.5.07, Blogger Cat said...

Eeeeek. That would be my absolute worst nightmare. I HATE birds and can't even be in a house where someone's let a budgie out to flap around.    

At 28.5.07, Blogger James said...

Amazing. Almost the exact same thing happened to me about 10 years ago. I heard rustling from the chimney one morning when I woke but thought little of it. And despite hearing it every now and again, ignored it for a further 2 days. Then when the nosie was very obvious on the Saturday morning I investigated. A pigeon had fallen behind the gas fire in the hearth. I had to reach behind the fireplace and lift it out. (Armed with a super thick skiing mit of course, because you know how dangerous pigeons can be!) I lifted the wee fellow out and put him on the window ledge. After a minutes thought he flew off. Daft things, eh!    

At 28.5.07, Blogger James said...

Oh, and you're right about The Three Chimneys - amazing. Welcome home.    

At 28.5.07, Blogger londongirl said...

Glad you had a great hols. Can relate to the bird fear over the pigeon tho...    

At 29.5.07, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i'm guessing that you'll think twice before eating pigeon again.    

At 29.5.07, Blogger Drama Queen said...

Just be thankful you didn't have chicken. That's all I can say.    

At 30.5.07, Anonymous Lynx said...

In a way, it's lucky it was stuck in the chimney; that way it could only shit on the fire. When I was a student, a pigeon got into our flat, and crapped all over the place. We eventually managed to chase it out the window, but it's amazing how much shit one bird can produce!    

At 28.6.07, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ohh, nice fireplace. I like that a lot.

Imagine if you'd had venison!!!!    

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*Logan Pearsall Smith

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