NotJustAHatStand

Written 15th February 2007


This morning I was driven to work by what may be the Cheeriest Bus Driver Ever In The World, Ever. I got on, and he trumpeted 'Good Morning Dear!' in a loud carrying voice, with a big happy smile on his face. I was a bit startled, as Lothian bus drivers tend to just grunt at you before 9am (which I completely understand, and do not blame them for), but I said good morning back, and proceeded upstairs to hide behind my Metro.

Some of the fancier Lothian Buses have new fangled PA systems, which the driver can use to tell the passengers things. For example, that the bus is approaching a particular stop, or that the bus has broken down and we should all get on the one behind, or that whoever is dinging the bell should stop this minute or they're getting chucked off the bus. You get the idea. The driver this morning had his speaker switched on, and he treated us all to regular updates about the next stop, and what shops and services we could expect to find in the vicinity. For example, 'next stop is Haymarket Station, where you can get on a train to Fife, Glasgow or Stirling. You'll also find a bank, coffee shops, restaurants and some bars, although it's a bit early for me! Next stop, Haymarket.'

I don't know if this was some kind of experiment Lothian Buses were doing, combining commuter transport with guided tours, or if this man was just eager to help. Either way, I liked it. But I'm glad he doesn't do that route every day.

Labels: Commute

I saw a man on a bike this morning on my way to work. This in itself isn't unusual. What is unusual is that he was not appropriately dressed for the cold and heavy rain, and was soaked to the skin.

He was also cycling along at a leisurely pace (in rush hour traffic in central Edinburgh) whistling 'Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life'. For no obvious reason, he looked like he had his own personal little patch of sunlight, filled with rainbows and unicorns.

Maybe he just won the lottery. Maybe he got laid last night. Maybe he had just escaped from a secure unit somewhere and thought he was in the Canary Islands. Or maybe he was just enjoying his morning cycle in the rain.

Who knows, but it was a nice change from the usual grumpy commuters I see every other morning, and he brought a smile to my face. Which is an amazing feat before 9am.

Labels: Commute, randomness

Coco, my little black cat, crosses my path about a hundred times a day but I've never connected this to any particular episodes of good or bad luck. I'm considering revising this opinion after this morning's events, however. According to Wikipedia, black cats can be considered both bad and good omens, depending on where you live. As I live in Scotland, where 'if a black cat crosses your path it is meant to be a definite sign of good things to come'¹, I'm going for the latter, and thanking my lucky stars for my black cat, and the protective aura she cast over me before I left my house this morning.

I was a split second away from being hit by a car on my way to work this morning.

I was at the pedestrian crossing on the main road where I live (which is a major commuter route into Edinburgh). The traffic lights were at red and the green man had just come on to signal that it was safe for pedestrians to cross. A big truck had stopped in the lane closest to the pavement, I walked in front of it and was about to step into the second lane of traffic when I looked to my right, and saw a car come flying through the red lights at a speed that suggested the driver had no idea there was even a set of traffic lights there, let alone that they were at red. I felt the breeze of the car passing about a foot in front of me. Then, as if that wasn't bad enough, the car behind went through the lights as well. So if the first guy hadn't got me, the second one could have a pop too.

Both of them were going far too fast and even if they'd been paying attention to the lights there's no way they would've been able to stop. If the driver in the first car had stopped suddenly, the car behind would have smashed into him.

As I stood in the middle of the road, in shock at the close shave, the driver of the truck honked his horn at the two cars to alert them to what they had just done, but they hadn't even slowed down and they both drove off, seemingly oblivious to the fact that they'd been about a foot away from hitting a pedestrian. A pedestrian who would have HUNTED THEM DOWN AND KILLED THEM if they had ruined her upcoming wedding.

If I'd been just one or two steps in front of where I was he would've hit me full on. I keep thinking about what would've happened if I had stepped out in front of that car, and it's freaking me out. Would I have walked away unscathed? Maybe a broken leg? Fractured skull? Or would I be another statistic - one of those poor bastards that die on the road every day? Road casualties in the UK may be at an all time low, but you still hear stories in the news almost every day of someone who has lost their life on the road.

I don't know why the two cars didn't stop but I hope it was just a momentary lapse, and that they got as much of a fright as I did - maybe that will make them a bit more careful next time.

Labels: Commute, Stupid

1. Thou shalt not skip the queue at the bus stop, unless you are old AND frail.* We are British, we are civilised, and we queue in an orderly manner.

2. Thou shalt not dither - make it clear whether or not you wish to get on an approaching bus, as soon as it comes into view.

3. Thou shalt have thy bus pass/fare to hand, not at the bottom of thy handbag. Some people need to get to work.

3. Thou shalt not sit next to me when the bus is half empty. There is Just. No. Need.

4. Thou shalt say 'excuse me' when you need me to let you out from the window seat. Do not just stand up and barge past me without so much as a by-your-leave.

5. Thou shalt not play music at such a volume that your fellow passengers can hear every word of the lyrics.

6. Thou shalt not put thy luggage in the Metro holder.

7. Thou shalt not hog the seat or bash your seat-mate (me) with your elbows while you read your paper.

8. Thou shalt not ding the bell more than once.

9. Thou shalt not attempt to read my book over my shoulder. It is rude.

10. Thou shalt NEVER pick thy nose on the bus.

*Just being old is not reason enough - there must also be a reasonable degree of frailty to allow queue skipping.

Labels: Commute

I got on the bus today, a bit weary and headachey after a busy day, and realised with dismay that I'd sat down in the middle of a telephone exchange. The posh girl in the seat next to me, the drunk girl behind me, and the woman in the seat across the way who was clearly still working, were all talking on their mobiles. Loudly. I attempted to read my book (The Three Musketeers, if anyone's interested - it's great!), but after half a page I realised it was pointless trying to read with the din they were making, and just as entertaining to listen to the three conversations going on around me:

Posh Girl: 'So Bunny's moving in with Avril, and Tibbs told me that Miranda is going to be HOMELESS after term finishes because she can't find a flatmate and her parents can't even afford to buy her a flat' Oh, shut up.

Drunk Girl: 'I've just necked five pints but I'm cone-stold sober' Riiight.

Working Girl: 'I think you and I need to get together to hash this out, because the project timescale is slipping and we need to refocus' Isn't this what offices are for? The whole bus doesn't need to hear abour your slippage. Also, your perfume is rank.

Then a young mother of about 18 got on the (already packed) bus with her buggy. Now, Lothian Buses have a space for one buggy/pram/wheelchair, and a sign saying that other passengers must vacate the space for people that need it. There was someone sitting in the space, so this girl approached him and asked him if he would mind moving to another seat, so that she could get on with her buggy.

There's nothing noteworthy about that really, and you're probably thinking 'what a polite young woman', except that the man in the disabled space was blind.

He had a guide dog. He gets on the bus regularly, and always sits in the same seat, and even without his cute canine assistant, it's immediately clear that he's blind. He obviously didn't want to move, because he took ages answering the girl (I suspect he was trying to think of a more polite way to get rid of her than telling her to piss off, which I was hoping he would do). She asked if he'd prefer to stay where he was (well, durr!), and he said that actually, yes it would be easier for him. She then made a big show of saying 'well, ok, I'll just get off then', and starting to turn her pram round. So of course the poor man had no choice but to say that he would move.

Another passenger then had to help him move to another seat (with the whole bus watching by now of course), where he and his dog looked very uncomfortable and squished. The girl made herself comfy in his seat, eyeballed all the people that were staring at her incredulously, and didn't bat an eyelid.

I was horrified. So was Posh Girl next to me, as she gave a running commentary of what was going on to Bunny ('Oh my god, some awful girl is forcing a blind man out of his seat on the bus').

Of course people with buggies and prams should be able to use public transport, and it's good that it's made as easy as possible for them, but surely disabled people should take priority over able bodied people, even those with children?

Shouldn't they?

Labels: Commute, Manners

I was rushing to catch my bus as usual and upon getting to the main road I passed a cyclist waiting to get out onto the main road. I saw him, didn't pay any attention to him, and kept walking in my pre-9am fog, whilst keeping an eye out for the bus. As I passed the cyclist I heard a crash and lots of swearing. I don't know how he managed to fall off, but fall he did. The poor man was lying tangled up in his bag, his bike and the traffic cone he had fallen on top of. He was struggling to extricate himself and I'm rather ashamed to admit that for a moment I considered leaving him to get on with it and catch my bus. (In my defence I'd been late for work already this week, and missing that bus meant I was going to be late again.)

But my conscience got the better of me and I went over to give him a hand. I helped him up, and picked up his bike for him while he got himself sorted. I asked him if he was ok. He said he was but I think he whacked his shoulder off the kerb upon landing, which must've hurt. He said he'd walk for a bit, but that he'd be fine. He then limped off, pushing his bike. He hadn't thanked me, or if he had I didn't hear him. Maybe he was embarrassed. Or maybe he saw my moment of indecision, and didn't think I deserved thanking. Whatever it was, I didn't think of it at the time - I was just glad there wasn't any blood or broken bones to contend with, and that I could finally get on my way to work.

But I missed the bus of course, and got into my office at 9.15. I explained why I was late, and was met with sceptical looks from my colleagues. I don't think they believed me! The cheek of it... My track record in that area isn't good mind you, but if I'm late I don't lie about it!

I've also been keeping an eye on the Metro all week for any 'to the girl who helped me after I fell off my bike' messages, but nothing doing. How rude. I'm not expecting a medal or anything, but a bit of gratitude would've been nice. I did miss my bus for the bastard after all.

Ah well, maybe I'll get my reward in the shape of some good karma.

Labels: Commute, Karma