My Three Year Plan
Fiance and I went to visit friends of ours today, who have a 1 and a half year old boy. The wee boy is lovely, and our friends have a ball being parents - they've both taken to it like the proverbial ducks to water. We always have fun playing too (the baby got Weebles for Christmas! Remember Weebles?! They wobble but they don't fall down!), and when we leave their house I always say to Fiance 'aww, isn't Baby cute, should we have one?'.
In the days when we had only been going out for 5 years, weren't even engaged yet, and our friends were tearing their hair out because Baby wouldn't sleep through the night, Fiance used to look really freaked out by this and say 'Umm, err... ooh look - a bird'. Now however, he actually considers the question and then he says, yes, at some point he would like to have a baby. At which point I say 'Whoa, hold on there Mister, I was JOKING!'
This happens every time we go there. I know what Fiance's answer will be, I know that I am pretty much in the same place as him (i.e. I'd like one, but I'm not ready for it yet), but it's kind of a ritual now. The damn baby's just too cute - he has this effect on me.
Anyway, today the in-car discussion actually got to the stage where we were considering whether my maternity pay plus his wage would be enough to cover our outgoings, before I said 'Whoa, hold on there Mister, I was joking!'. This is progress for me.
But then I realised that having babies straight after we get married will render my dream of taking a career break and spending a few months travelling completely impossible. I'm coming to the conclusion that although I do want to have children (and I've always thought 30ish is a good age at which to procreate), I also have other ambitions that I'm not quite ready to give up yet. I know they always say that you can get out and enjoy the world when your children have flown the nest, but erm, I don't want to wait that long. What if I get landed with wastrel kids who don't leave home till they're 45? Or what if I get hit by a bus on my 60th birthday, the day before I'm due to leave on my round the world trip and I never get to see Uluru, Victoria Falls or the Great Barrier Reef? WHAT THEN? I will have died a poorly travelled person (albeit one who has left a genetic legacy on the planet for when the mothership returns) who has never fulfilled her wish to see the Grand Canyon before she dies.
So I've worked out that I have three-and-a-bit years (I'm 27 in May) in which to:
a) Get married. I can pretty much tick this one off already but you never know what's gonna happen. Fiance might find out about my criminal record.
b) Save up, take a career break, and travel the world for a few months.
c) Get home without being eaten by a lion or falling into the Zambezi, and get up the duff.
Should be easy enough, I reckon.
In the days when we had only been going out for 5 years, weren't even engaged yet, and our friends were tearing their hair out because Baby wouldn't sleep through the night, Fiance used to look really freaked out by this and say 'Umm, err... ooh look - a bird'. Now however, he actually considers the question and then he says, yes, at some point he would like to have a baby. At which point I say 'Whoa, hold on there Mister, I was JOKING!'
This happens every time we go there. I know what Fiance's answer will be, I know that I am pretty much in the same place as him (i.e. I'd like one, but I'm not ready for it yet), but it's kind of a ritual now. The damn baby's just too cute - he has this effect on me.
Anyway, today the in-car discussion actually got to the stage where we were considering whether my maternity pay plus his wage would be enough to cover our outgoings, before I said 'Whoa, hold on there Mister, I was joking!'. This is progress for me.
But then I realised that having babies straight after we get married will render my dream of taking a career break and spending a few months travelling completely impossible. I'm coming to the conclusion that although I do want to have children (and I've always thought 30ish is a good age at which to procreate), I also have other ambitions that I'm not quite ready to give up yet. I know they always say that you can get out and enjoy the world when your children have flown the nest, but erm, I don't want to wait that long. What if I get landed with wastrel kids who don't leave home till they're 45? Or what if I get hit by a bus on my 60th birthday, the day before I'm due to leave on my round the world trip and I never get to see Uluru, Victoria Falls or the Great Barrier Reef? WHAT THEN? I will have died a poorly travelled person (albeit one who has left a genetic legacy on the planet for when the mothership returns) who has never fulfilled her wish to see the Grand Canyon before she dies.
So I've worked out that I have three-and-a-bit years (I'm 27 in May) in which to:
a) Get married. I can pretty much tick this one off already but you never know what's gonna happen. Fiance might find out about my criminal record.
b) Save up, take a career break, and travel the world for a few months.
c) Get home without being eaten by a lion or falling into the Zambezi, and get up the duff.
Should be easy enough, I reckon.
Labels: Babies, Fiance, Travel
This entry was posted
on Sunday, January 07, 2007 at 6:21 pm.
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Good stuff. I'll hopefully have had my second by then and will be irritatingly full of unsolicited advice ;-)
God, I'm jealous of people who have it all worked out! I just meander along, hoping things will turn out the way I want them to, (but being realistic enough to realise that they may not).
Elisabeth - I reckon I'll be glad of any advice when that day comes, solicited or otherwise!
Cat - I'll probably never do the career break thing, be preggers by June and have to cancel my wedding! Still it's nice to have a plan to deviate from.
Haha, sorry but have you realised that you have a google advert saying 'Jesus Christ loves you' - guessing google didn't screen your blog content first. . .
Drama Queen - it's probably all the 'taking the lord's name in vain' that I do...
I think that's a great plan, Teeny. Being un-engaged myself, I'm nowhere near something as concrete as that. But I do have my grad school plan and a general sense of when I want a hubby and kids. As you pointed out, as long as we can roll with the changes, we're good!
At least you are thinking about this now, and working your plan out! Being 6 years older than you, I am at the stage where I should DEFINITELY be procreating (don't want my kid's friends to think I'm their grandmother etc), but a. don't have the space b. don't have the cash c. haven't been in my job long enough to even qualify for mat leave (don't get me started on that one!) and d. also haven't yet fulfilled my travelling needs. It's pants. And that bloody clock just won't stop ticking!
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